When Jack Nicholson uttered this cult favorite quote in the movie, “A Few Good Men”, it defined the moment of contentious morality for most people. And is it really true? That you and I, are not able to handle the truth? Though, there is this deep craving for us to be always wanting to know the absolute truth.
I’ve been in the people’s industry for the longest time. Am an avid observer of human relations builders. And there are two distinct characteristics profoundly defined within most of us. The keepers and the victims.
The keepers are those who prefer to keep the peace of friendships and relationships. The ones who compromise, accommodate and stretch themselves. The one who extends cordial courtesy and always on the constant back foot when it comes to needless moments of agitations. The keepers think best of others, often to the detriments of their own inner conflicts.
The victims are those who have opinions about everything. And these opinions are communicated from a place of unfounded entitlement. They rest on the pedestal of status quos and perceptive judgements. The victims are always placing idealism as the cornerstone of some dynamics. They float words like “honest, frank, brutal truths, loyalty and faithful” as reasons for justifications.
So how does Jack Nicholson’s line fit perfectly in this dynamics of extremes?
It’s when the Keepers decide to have a voice. When the Keepers decide to no longer stretch, accommodate or compromise. When the Keepers decide to be themselves. Cause that is when the Victims will cry foul and start using idealism to explain the changes and trying to rationalize the different shifts in responses. Victims will start asking that they be treated with decorum, with decorative words.
But can the Victims really stand to be told the truths about their characteristics? What if the truths that were not told,were the very reasons, marriages and friendships withstood its faults all this while? The untold truths were the ones that managed expectations? The untold truths that were not voiced out by the Keepers, cause they valued relationships over truths?
Not everyone has the stomach to understand the enormous impact when truths are told. Victims will crumble if they were told the truths about their shortcomings. Victims will wail if they were highlighted of their trivialities. Victims will run amok if they knew just how little they are contributing to some dynamics.
Truths are not necessarily some dystopian Eutopia in some relationships/dynamics/friendships. While we all may crave for it, not all have the length and depth of acceptance.
For me, I still prefer being a Keeper. And you should too.