When I was growing up, the phrase “Nice guys like you will always finish last,” kept cropping up like some bad karma. It is not hard to figure out at which phase of my life, this statement made its appearance. Yeaps, you got it right. The dating phase of my life. The phase where people looked at my pimpled face and the book I was holding, and was able to give me a dating diagnosis.
It did not help also that during that phase, I did not have barrels of confidence stocked up in my warehouse of self esteem. To me, being reclusive and protected from interactions, were the best ways to slide though my growing years.
So why would nice guys finish last? Or for that matter, nice girls too? I mean, that for every Forrest Gump, there was the equivalent Ugly Betty right? The perennial examples of chivalry and niceties. Yet always slacked into thinking that whatever they did were never good enough.
Growing up and trying to find a road map towards dating success was tough. It did not mean that I did not have girl friends. It just meant that those girls looked at me as a treasure chest for their whines and cries of dismays, when the bad boys cocked up their lives. Tears wet my shoulders every single time. As I lent both corners or my anatomy to the whirlpool of emotions. I was, as what they called me then, “My best guy friend.”
So question is, “Are nice guys really doomed?”
The answer is a convincing, “No.”
Having been at the end of that tormenting statement for eons, I realized that it is pretty much untrue.
By all accounts, nice guys can finish last, yet finish best.
Here’s 3 reasons why I know so.
Maturity Takes Time
Women for all the fickleness that they may display sometimes, are still pretty much grounded. They prefer stability over anything else. They may be entertained and whipped into delight, yet they still wanna have that assurance that they can come home and cozy up. And when they visualize that in their minds, they can only picture that with a man who is nice. Nice enough to prepare drinks. Nice enough to massage their weary feet. Nice enough to have a sensible and thoughtful conversation. In other words, the it may take a while for a woman to appreciate that, but trust me, they will. And that means, you will probably be the last person on their mind. Yet, you will win them over.
Being Nice Is A Necessity
Too much emphasis has been placed on the fact that being nice will place you on the path of being taken advantage of. While that may be true in some context, it is however an exception to the norm. People still value the traits of being gentlemanly, being thoughtful, being polite, being patient and being accommodating. While there are man/woman who will manipulate of twist circumstances to assure their leading positions, it usually does not last. Don’t think too much into it. That’s how the Universe works. Being nice may slow your progress or delay the intended gratifications. Yet, time and time again, history has shown that being nice brings you places. People generally will trust you. People will place competency over flamboyance. People will value your nice traits over flashy displays of ego. Being nice may make you arrive last. But you will arrive with assurance.
Happy Endings Are True
The movie “Little Nicky” starring Adam Sandler resonates strongly with this point. In this story, Lil’ Nicky was manipulated by his jealous and overbearing brothers into relinquishing his possible ascension as the favorite son of the Devil. Lil Nicky was just a nice and cuddly antithesis to the Devil himself. Yet at the end of the movie, due to his inexplicable nice nature, he was always triumphing over the evil deeds his brothers had planned out. He got support and assistance from everyone who connected with him.
The point I am making here is that, if you are a nice person, your chances of perhaps being successful is nearer to the 100% mark, compared to if you are not nice to even begin with. Nice people may be overlooked. Nice people may be disregarded. Nice people may be misrepresented. Yet nice people are also the ones who create the best outcomes for any situation.
Nice people play the long game. Yet they always will want to play a good and satisfactory game. So while they may walk out of the field last, they will also be the most happiest and contented.