Why I Still Believe In Educational Communication

Build Value To Build Relationships

In an age where content creation means that you can equalize your relevance to the market place, being “pitchy” is a given. Most platforms, be it your traditional or the social media route, wants you to be beaten into submitting to the paid advertising pathway.

So how did a 3 decades old way of marketing or communicating your unique propositions, start becoming relevant again?

Or did we just manage to dumb ourselves out?

In the past, most sales communication centered around the manipulation or conviction of emotional triggers to elicit a response. Copywriting manuals did not just exist about 5 years back. It has always been around. Propagated and expounded by charismatic individuals. Back then, the medium of such messages came about via televisions.

These days, the same methods are applied, only this time around via well scripted paid online advertisements. Where people are coaxed subconsiously into submitting details or queries, thus pre qualifying them as leads/possible clients.

However, this method seems to always appear too slick and gimmicky for me. The premise has always been about a trade off, between…”Why not you sacrifice your time and details, in exchange for the secrets I can share with you?” And of course this premise works superbly well for consultants and salespeople.

On the flip side however, I am a big advocate of an educational communication model. Where I share over a period of time, educational contents for you to leverage on. After which I build an established trust in your mind as being credible and an authority of my subject matter. Then I invite you to share your resources in exchange for mine.

I know it sounds a tad idealistic and slow, but will you not want to buy or work with people who provides value first? Instead of asking for your time and resources first, to then demonstrate their propositions?

If you can provide tangible and intangible values, with your content and communication over a sustainable period of time, the key likelihood of me being a returning client and user is higher.

We have seen countless individuals who made it bigger in their personal pursuits by providing their resources and contents first, before asking nicely for a reciprocation.

Justin Bieber for example (I know it’s a poor example), dished out songs after songs, even from his younger days,to finally coming on tops in terms of following and influence. He provided value first, and educated his listeners on his styles and resources. People were hooked.

Educational communication is not new. But it has taken a backseat due to the nature of it being cultivating rather than an immediate profiting. In this unprecedented time, maybe you and I can do a little better by reliving its effectiveness and impact.

How To Overcome Your Anxiety During Public Speaking

It is not that far fetched for me to say this.

Even professional speakers feel the jitters when it comes to speaking in public. Yes, even if they have done it a gazillion times over the course of their professional lives. Cause no audience is ever the same.

So what does that make you? A non professional aspiring public speaker. Or even perhaps an aspiring content creator on YouTube. And perhaps a small business owner who is trying to create branding videos. Will you feel the same fear and get anxious all over?

The need to manage and overcome performance anxiety is real. Most public communicators go through a zone of fear and uncertainty, that zooms them into an unexplained state of irrationality.

So how do you manage a bit of that dreadful anxiety?

Here are some quick hacks I use for myself.

Minimize Your Preparations

This may seem contradictory to the norm of being competent. However, I have discovered over the course of my coaching engagements, that 7 out of 10 aspiring speakers fluffed as a result of being over prepared.

Yes. Over preparations.

Over preparations in most cases put a level of unnecessary stress on the speaker. The speaker will have that immense need of wanting to tick off all that preparations in his head. Leaving no room for errors can sometimes be the exact reason why people become more anxious than they should be.

Preparations should put you in a state of being able to navigate expertly and flexibly during the presentation. It should not be a straight jacket that paralyzes you.

Regulate Your Breathing

What has breathing got to do with managing your anxieties as a speaker?

Plenty.

There have been many times when my inability to control my breathing, led me to losing my voice and stage presence.

The anxieties you have as a public speaker or presenter can be the cause and effect of irregular breathing. A speaker who is anxious will not breathe properly. Likewise, when you do not breathe properly, anxiety will set in. Therefore it is important you take note of the following with regards to breathing in managing your anxities.

  • Be aware of your positional posture. A wide and relaxed posture aids in allowing more air to be breathed in and regulated.
  • Breathe deeply and slowly. Take intentional deep breaths before you speak.
  • Pause and regulate. Speaking fast is the surest way to lose your breathing patterns and create unnecessary stress. Relax
  • Breathe through your nose. It is amazing just how many people are not aware that breathing through the mouth is not just more taxing, it also does not help with anxiety management.
  • Relax. Relax. Relax. While it may seem easier said than done, it actually is quit manageable. Relaxation requires the practice of being able to quieten or shutting down your lizard brain. When you relax, your breathing becomes manageable.

progression not perfection

Most speakers believe in that unverified claim that competency lies in the perfect delivery of your speech. Where your voice does not crack, you are maintaining eye contact, your words come out fluently and everything is done in one perfect take.

Well, here’s the great news. You need not buy into that “perfect” bullshit.

Delivering a speech is not an Olympic sport. Meaning that there are no actual parameters by which you can be judged and marked with. The pressure and anxiety of “meeting some invisible benchmarks” can be crippling. What you need to do is to manage the controllable aspects of your delivery or presentation. Understand that most of the anxieties is actually happening inside your mind, rather than it being manifested in reality. So, if you can instead manage your priorities and expectations, you are more likely to succeed at managing your public speaking anxieties.

Some of the progressive expectations you can have for yourself include,

  • To speak freely with sincerity
  • To have a good networking session
  • To share your expertise with love
  • To teach a good knowledge

Public speaking anxiety is manageable and definitely not something that you have to suffer in silence with. Usually, all it takes is a bit of perspective framing coupled with practical techniques to help you out.

Why Nice Guys Finish Last and Finish Best?

When I was growing up, the phrase “Nice guys like you will always finish last,” kept cropping up like some bad karma. It is not hard to figure out at which phase of my life, this statement made its appearance. Yeaps, you got it right. The dating phase of my life. The phase where people looked at my pimpled face and the book I was holding, and was able to give me a dating diagnosis.

It did not help also that during that phase, I did not have barrels of confidence stocked up in my warehouse of self esteem. To me, being reclusive and protected from interactions, were the best ways to slide though my growing years.

So why would nice guys finish last? Or for that matter, nice girls too? I mean, that for every Forrest Gump, there was the equivalent Ugly Betty right? The perennial examples of chivalry and niceties. Yet always slacked into thinking that whatever they did were never good enough.

Growing up and trying to find a road map towards dating success was tough. It did not mean that I did not have girl friends. It just meant that those girls looked at me as a treasure chest for their whines and cries of dismays, when the bad boys cocked up their lives. Tears wet my shoulders every single time. As I lent both corners or my anatomy to the whirlpool of emotions. I was, as what they called me then, “My best guy friend.”

So question is, “Are nice guys really doomed?”

The answer is a convincing, “No.”

Having been at the end of that tormenting statement for eons, I realized that it is pretty much untrue.

By all accounts, nice guys can finish last, yet finish best.

Here’s 3 reasons why I know so.

Maturity Takes Time

Women for all the fickleness that they may display sometimes, are still pretty much grounded. They prefer stability over anything else. They may be entertained and whipped into delight, yet they still wanna have that assurance that they can come home and cozy up. And when they visualize that in their minds, they can only picture that with a man who is nice. Nice enough to prepare drinks. Nice enough to massage their weary feet. Nice enough to have a sensible and thoughtful conversation. In other words, the it may take a while for a woman to appreciate that, but trust me, they will. And that means, you will probably be the last person on their mind. Yet, you will win them over.

Being Nice Is A Necessity

Too much emphasis has been placed on the fact that being nice will place you on the path of being taken advantage of. While that may be true in some context, it is however an exception to the norm. People still value the traits of being gentlemanly, being thoughtful, being polite, being patient and being accommodating. While there are man/woman who will manipulate of twist circumstances to assure their leading positions, it usually does not last. Don’t think too much into it. That’s how the Universe works. Being nice may slow your progress or delay the intended gratifications. Yet, time and time again, history has shown that being nice brings you places. People generally will trust you. People will place competency over flamboyance. People will value your nice traits over flashy displays of ego. Being nice may make you arrive last. But you will arrive with assurance.

Happy Endings Are True

The movie “Little Nicky” starring Adam Sandler resonates strongly with this point. In this story, Lil’ Nicky was manipulated by his jealous and overbearing brothers into relinquishing his possible ascension as the favorite son of the Devil. Lil Nicky was just a nice and cuddly antithesis to the Devil himself. Yet at the end of the movie, due to his inexplicable nice nature, he was always triumphing over the evil deeds his brothers had planned out. He got support and assistance from everyone who connected with him.

The point I am making here is that, if you are a nice person, your chances of perhaps being successful is nearer to the 100% mark, compared to if you are not nice to even begin with. Nice people may be overlooked. Nice people may be disregarded. Nice people may be misrepresented. Yet nice people are also the ones who create the best outcomes for any situation.

Nice people play the long game. Yet they always will want to play a good and satisfactory game. So while they may walk out of the field last, they will also be the most happiest and contented.