How To Get Rid Of The Inadequacy Syndrome?

How To Get Rid Of The Inadequacy Syndrome_

Have you ever been in a situation where the girl/boy of your dreams, the object of your affections or the purpose to your life, tells you that you are not the only one in his/her list of options. That you are perhaps in direct competition with a few other blokes/lasses in the quest for attention.

Didn’t you feel sucky about it?

Did it make you feel inadequate all of a sudden? And you wondered if what you ever did or plan to do will ever be enough.

You are not alone. I’ve been down that path. Many times.

But here’s the thing. You should never feel inadequate. And here is me telling you why, and how you can rid yourself of that nagging thought.

If People Place You As An Option, That Means You Are Not A Priority. Walk Away.

I know. This is not what you wanna hear. You will still wanna affirm the idea to me that there is still hope for you. That there is a silver lining in knowing that you are literally just another chat conversation in his/her Whatsapp screen. That somehow, one day, your persistence in just sticking around will pay dividends.

The truth is buddy, you are just wasting every limited time and resources you have on someone who probably does not deserve it. Get real.

Why will anybody wanna treat your unique and exclusive existence as just another number on the contact list? Aren’t you worth more than that?

Have the decency and guts  to walk away.  You will not regret it, I assure you.

Pursue A Wilder, Higher & Greater Purpose.

We are the sum of what we think about and do constantly. So the quickest way to get over the thought of inadequacy is to snap out of it and pursue something else. Or better still, someone else. Only because you know you can and you should.

Think about how wild and high you will feel, to know that you can be the sole receiver of attention. And you can only feel this way, if you allow yourself the privilege to give and receive attention.

Fill up your cranium with more purposeful activities and ideas. You will appreciate you.

Stroke The C Spot.

Repeat after me…

“I Am Contented!”

“I Am Complete!”

“I Am Comforted!”

Every single day. Every morning. Every night.

And before you know it, people will be flocking to you for attention.

My $30 Lesson On Authenticity

Authenticity

When I started out in my career as a financial planner, I was clueless about brand names or goods. To me, a pen was a pen. It did not matter to me if it was embossed with a Mont Blanc motif or the initial of a Parker. As long as it served its basic function, it was great enough.

Which brings me to a story. I bought a great looking brown belt when I was in Bangkok. This was when I was in my second year as a rookie planner. The buckle of the belt bore the initial H. I loved it, cause it was the letter of my name. It also struck a familiar chord with me as I was crazy on the movie Hitch (starring Will Smith). In that movie, I saw that he wore such a belt. Thus I was so elated when I got my hands on one. It cost me less than $30.

Wearing that belt, when I got back home and work, proved to be a revelation. Colleagues started looking at me, from waist down. Careless whispers were flying around, when I walked past. The office secretary seemed to treat me nicer. I started pondering if it was just the aura I was exuding, or was it the belt.

It became funnier when I encountered a stranger in the office elevator. He looked at me, and with a wry smile, commented, “Great belt! Must have costed a bomb”. I laughed heartily and said “Yeah balls. For $30!” He guffawed loudly. “You could have fooled me there mate,”he quipped.

I was intrigued. Why was everyone so “into” my belt. I did a quick Google the next day, and found to my amazement, that the belt I was wearing, was a replica of a brand name called Hermes. And it turned out that an original Hermes belt would have pushed my budget back to say, $300 – $400. “Wow…” I thought to myself.

An overwhelming sense of embarrassment came to me. Seemed that I was carrying a replica branded belt on my waist all the time. A blatant case of worldly ignorance.

Nevertheless, thinking back on that anecdote these days, makes me wonder, if I would have carried of a different personality, should I had known that I was wearing a replica.

The point is this. External enhancements may give people a different impression perception about you. You may be perceived differently, should you be wearing something that carries a great namesake.

Which gives rise to that old maxim, “Fake it till you make it”. To be honest, I do not really subscribe to this adage. Cause in my scenario for instance, I was definitely not faking the idea that I was wearing something expensive on me. The ignorance on my part, just kinda made it sounded more like , “Be it till people believe it”. In my mind, it was just another affordable belt on my waist. Which was true by the way.

So in summary, do understand that while expensive things may make you look “upgraded”, it still boils down to the level of confidence you have in carrying it off. You do not necessarily have to be crazy about authentic branded goods. Just work on being an authentic you.

Who Are You Without What You Are?

Who Are You

When The Dark Knight mentioned, “…It’s not who I am underneath… but what I *do*… that defines me…” , you know that you had just stumbled upon a quote that will be used philosophically by many.

In many ways, Batman is right. We are always judged, ostracized, punished , rewarded, acclaimed and lauded not by the personality or character that we bring to the table. In most cases, it is the very actions we do, that will ultimately be the template for definition. The saint who molested his followers, will not be vindicated for his righteous spiritual cores, but rather for that acts of atrocities. That has and might be the decorum for how society will place judgement on individuals. Your acts define you. Not the creed or values you hold.

Which brings me to that thought.

Who are you if you take out that very element that defines you?

Continue reading → Who Are You Without What You Are?