The importance of persuasive speaking or the ability to influence should not be underestimated. Most people come up to me and lament about their inability to speak in public. While it is true that public speaking is a useful skill to learn and apply, it is not something that you need always. I mean, how many of us are probably doing speeches to more than five people at any one time.
However, the interactions we have on a daily basis, require us to be able to share and exchange view points. What happens then, if we are unable to effectively communicate those views?
You’ve probably heard tales of friends who fell off relationships, careers or friendships. Often than not, it probably was due to some forms of disengagement or the non existence of connection. You heard wives saying, “My husband no longer communicates…understands or listens.” Employees saying, “My boss is not listening to my point of view…my supervisor is not asking for my feedback.”
All these almost common forms of disengagement can be narrowed to one specific reason. Most people do not know how to make themselves heard.
Connection and engagement require you to be dynamic in your communication.In an age of social media being the default modes of being heard, it is so vital for you to understand that engagement is the keyword. People are no longer tuning in to you ,as if they are listening in a news broadcast over the radio. Neither are they just zombified into staring at colored, moving ads on the televisions.
These days, people want to experience a conversation, an opinions exchange dynamics or an information dissemination session. That’s why I always say, the touch screens revolutionized a whole new way of communication.
So how can you get started on being a more engaging communicator?
Learn The Seven Golden Words
Most people are shy to say this words. They find it beneath them, to just utter these words sometimes. Yet psychologically, these seven words will imprint onto your listeners’ minds, a need for an alliance to be formed. People respond to the seven words on the subconscious level, on a positive note always. And it gears you up to be listened in to more favorably. These seven golden words are,
“Can you please do me a favor?”
You will be surprised that most people. Well, most nice people at least, find it appealing to be thought off as being in a position where they can offer something. If you are to ask a favor, the minimum response they will have to offer, is consider. Considerations will require you to be engaged. They will have to listen and tune in to your overall message.
Be humble. Be gentle.
Ask to be heard.
Let Me Touch You
Research has somehow proven that a normal average person needs 8 hugs a day, to kinda stay emotionally balanced.
But do we even receive that? Heck, you are considered lucky enough, if you received 8 in a month.
The point is, people want to be touched. Someway, somehow. That is why, the touch screens seem to be a connector when it comes to online communication engagements. You have to press the “like” button. You have to type out your comments. You have to scroll through your feeds. That “touch” is liberating.
This psychological need applies in a real world conversation too. Do you bother to shake someone’s hands before you chat? Do you put your hands around your buddies as you talk about something? Do you hug your spouse after a great discussion about your kids?
I make it a point to touch anyone I converse with in a non intimate, non aggressive manner. A gentle touch on the elbow or arm always does it for me. The contact may be subtle, but the brain picks it up differently.
So the next time you guys agree on anything, do a fist bump or hug passionately!