How I Got More Influential By Understanding These 2 Principles

understanding the 2 pillars of influence

Most people I know, want the shortcuts to everything. If you are like most people, I am sure that you had scoured bookstores looking for quick fix it guides on how to be more persuasive. More influential. More powerful.

You might had also paid thousand of dollars to workshops trainers and speakers, teaching you how to  use the latest NLP technique, right copy writing techniques and how to perhaps play the “game” a bit better.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with all of the efforts above. In fact, it is great that you had attempted to source out all the possible knowledge and resources you can get when it comes to learning how to be more influential.

However, technique and methods alone will not work.

You need to understand the basic fundamentals as to why people will be persuaded or influenced.

Allow me to share.

I believe that there are essentially 2 basic pillars that need to be in place before an influential dynamic can happen. Is this a prerequisite? In my books, yes! So let’s get to the first pillar.

People must know that you can execute

Batman comes along and he says that he can clean up the streets of Gotham City. Yet, he comes along all scrawny, with a baseball bat and a skateboard. Do you honestly think that the Gothamites will even bat an eyelid? The fact is, his appearance indicated that he is not able to pull off anything grand. Thus, do you see the whole reason why Batman has to beef himself up, puts on some high tech gadgetry on and fly around menacingly. The whole theatrics, let people know that Batman can execute on his promise of cleaning up the streets. In this case even the super villains are persuaded and influenced by the idea that Batman can indeed inflict some heavy damages.

The same goes for you. Are people being made aware that you have the knowledge, skills, experience and ability to execute whatever you are trying to sell? Or are you just lip service? The premise of influence has a starting point. And the starting point will  be from an angle of awareness. People need to know either visually, verbally or mentally somehow, that you can indeed execute the promises you will be making. Once you have set that starting point, then the persuasion and influential processes can happen.

People must trust you

Trust is a treasured commodity these days. The over emphasis on how conviction and belief can be manipulated via advanced copy writing or NLP techniques discredit the raw nature of innate trust. It is sad that most people these days, think that they can go via the subconscious back doors of your mind, to flick on your trust switch somehow.

In the realm of real influence and persuasion however, trust is more instinctive. Primal and raw. That feeling of assurance in your guts. You can just sense it.

This second pillar of influence is important to be understood. Cause trust once earned or broken, can make or break and influence dynamics you had set. Aren’t you more inclined to be more influenced by your parents than your friends? Cause you trust them more, right? The reverse happens when you do not trust people anymore. The influence they have over you dissipates. It is just a natural reaction.

People are more easily persuaded and influenced by people they genuinely trust.

Thus you have to set yourself apart from all the other persuaders/influencers out there. Do not attempt at being gimmicky or take a backdoor when it comes to building trust.

Summary

A genuine influencer works at putting the above 2 pillars in place as his initial foundation. The first pillar establishes your capability, while the second pillar cements your credibility. Everyone loves being around influential players or personalities. Take your time in setting these 2 pillars firmly. You can build your pantheons of power after that.

Why We Should Aim High & Fall?

Flying To The Sun

I gave a short 7 minutes speech just 2 days ago. It was titled “Fly To The Sun”. The feedback I received after the speech was that it was inspirational.

What was my message?

I happened to chance on a You Tube video by my favorite online hero, Seth Godin. He spoke about his book titled, ‘The Icarus Deception”. He briefly explained that we had grew up with only half of the myth being imprinted on our minds. And that is that of Icarus falling to the seas, because he did not heed his father’s advise of not flying too high up and close to the sun, as this will melt the was on his crafted wings.

The fact of the matter is, there was another cautionary message, stipulated by his father. One that we somehow conveniently forget. And that is, not too fly too low to the seas, as the water can wet the wings and make it heavy. In other words, fly too low, and you might also fall into the seas.

I found this aspect of the story interesting. Yet, as Seth mentioned, it is usually omitted out.

Here’s my take.

How often have we had people tell us not too have too high an aspiration? Or not to have too lofty a goal? Or day dream too much? Were we not deemed and mocked as the ultimate idealists, when we aspire too fly a bit higher?

We were insinuated with the idea that it is far better to just be realistic. To just fly high enough stay in the game. The danger,as they highlighted, is that when you fly too high, you might just get your wings burned to ashes, and you will dive right into the seas.

Yet, the problem for most of us is that, we had set a barometer of realism  to be so low, we are actually navigating too near to the seas, to begin with. It is in my opinion, that more people are susceptible to fall into the seas, due to the fact that they are burdened with their heavy wings, due to the low altitude. When you fly too low, you are bound to wet your wings.

The challenge for most of us, is to understand that  these days, there is an imperative need to aspire to try and fly to the sun. Yes, you might burn your wings and fall to ground. But the glory of flying high, soaring and just cruising when you know the right altitude is far more rewarding than gliding comfortably a few inches above the waters.

You should understand that nothing magnificent was ever achieved by being realistic.

If Martin Luther King was being realistic, his “I Have A Dream” speech will not be echoed till now.

If JKK was being realistic, no man would have landed on the moon.

If Walt Disney was being realistic, Mickey Mouse would have just been a doodle on a piece of paper.

Idealism is not dead. And it should not be. Cause being idealistic is the first building block towards your monuments of achievements..

Flying to the sun?

Start crafting your wings tonight.

How To Get Rid Of The Inadequacy Syndrome?

How To Get Rid Of The Inadequacy Syndrome_

Have you ever been in a situation where the girl/boy of your dreams, the object of your affections or the purpose to your life, tells you that you are not the only one in his/her list of options. That you are perhaps in direct competition with a few other blokes/lasses in the quest for attention.

Didn’t you feel sucky about it?

Did it make you feel inadequate all of a sudden? And you wondered if what you ever did or plan to do will ever be enough.

You are not alone. I’ve been down that path. Many times.

But here’s the thing. You should never feel inadequate. And here is me telling you why, and how you can rid yourself of that nagging thought.

If People Place You As An Option, That Means You Are Not A Priority. Walk Away.

I know. This is not what you wanna hear. You will still wanna affirm the idea to me that there is still hope for you. That there is a silver lining in knowing that you are literally just another chat conversation in his/her Whatsapp screen. That somehow, one day, your persistence in just sticking around will pay dividends.

The truth is buddy, you are just wasting every limited time and resources you have on someone who probably does not deserve it. Get real.

Why will anybody wanna treat your unique and exclusive existence as just another number on the contact list? Aren’t you worth more than that?

Have the decency and guts  to walk away.  You will not regret it, I assure you.

Pursue A Wilder, Higher & Greater Purpose.

We are the sum of what we think about and do constantly. So the quickest way to get over the thought of inadequacy is to snap out of it and pursue something else. Or better still, someone else. Only because you know you can and you should.

Think about how wild and high you will feel, to know that you can be the sole receiver of attention. And you can only feel this way, if you allow yourself the privilege to give and receive attention.

Fill up your cranium with more purposeful activities and ideas. You will appreciate you.

Stroke The C Spot.

Repeat after me…

“I Am Contented!”

“I Am Complete!”

“I Am Comforted!”

Every single day. Every morning. Every night.

And before you know it, people will be flocking to you for attention.