How I Got More Influential By Understanding These 2 Principles

understanding the 2 pillars of influence

Most people I know, want the shortcuts to everything. If you are like most people, I am sure that you had scoured bookstores looking for quick fix it guides on how to be more persuasive. More influential. More powerful.

You might had also paid thousand of dollars to workshops trainers and speakers, teaching you how to  use the latest NLP technique, right copy writing techniques and how to perhaps play the “game” a bit better.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with all of the efforts above. In fact, it is great that you had attempted to source out all the possible knowledge and resources you can get when it comes to learning how to be more influential.

However, technique and methods alone will not work.

You need to understand the basic fundamentals as to why people will be persuaded or influenced.

Allow me to share.

I believe that there are essentially 2 basic pillars that need to be in place before an influential dynamic can happen. Is this a prerequisite? In my books, yes! So let’s get to the first pillar.

People must know that you can execute

Batman comes along and he says that he can clean up the streets of Gotham City. Yet, he comes along all scrawny, with a baseball bat and a skateboard. Do you honestly think that the Gothamites will even bat an eyelid? The fact is, his appearance indicated that he is not able to pull off anything grand. Thus, do you see the whole reason why Batman has to beef himself up, puts on some high tech gadgetry on and fly around menacingly. The whole theatrics, let people know that Batman can execute on his promise of cleaning up the streets. In this case even the super villains are persuaded and influenced by the idea that Batman can indeed inflict some heavy damages.

The same goes for you. Are people being made aware that you have the knowledge, skills, experience and ability to execute whatever you are trying to sell? Or are you just lip service? The premise of influence has a starting point. And the starting point will  be from an angle of awareness. People need to know either visually, verbally or mentally somehow, that you can indeed execute the promises you will be making. Once you have set that starting point, then the persuasion and influential processes can happen.

People must trust you

Trust is a treasured commodity these days. The over emphasis on how conviction and belief can be manipulated via advanced copy writing or NLP techniques discredit the raw nature of innate trust. It is sad that most people these days, think that they can go via the subconscious back doors of your mind, to flick on your trust switch somehow.

In the realm of real influence and persuasion however, trust is more instinctive. Primal and raw. That feeling of assurance in your guts. You can just sense it.

This second pillar of influence is important to be understood. Cause trust once earned or broken, can make or break and influence dynamics you had set. Aren’t you more inclined to be more influenced by your parents than your friends? Cause you trust them more, right? The reverse happens when you do not trust people anymore. The influence they have over you dissipates. It is just a natural reaction.

People are more easily persuaded and influenced by people they genuinely trust.

Thus you have to set yourself apart from all the other persuaders/influencers out there. Do not attempt at being gimmicky or take a backdoor when it comes to building trust.

Summary

A genuine influencer works at putting the above 2 pillars in place as his initial foundation. The first pillar establishes your capability, while the second pillar cements your credibility. Everyone loves being around influential players or personalities. Take your time in setting these 2 pillars firmly. You can build your pantheons of power after that.

How To Get Rid Of The Inadequacy Syndrome?

How To Get Rid Of The Inadequacy Syndrome_

Have you ever been in a situation where the girl/boy of your dreams, the object of your affections or the purpose to your life, tells you that you are not the only one in his/her list of options. That you are perhaps in direct competition with a few other blokes/lasses in the quest for attention.

Didn’t you feel sucky about it?

Did it make you feel inadequate all of a sudden? And you wondered if what you ever did or plan to do will ever be enough.

You are not alone. I’ve been down that path. Many times.

But here’s the thing. You should never feel inadequate. And here is me telling you why, and how you can rid yourself of that nagging thought.

If People Place You As An Option, That Means You Are Not A Priority. Walk Away.

I know. This is not what you wanna hear. You will still wanna affirm the idea to me that there is still hope for you. That there is a silver lining in knowing that you are literally just another chat conversation in his/her Whatsapp screen. That somehow, one day, your persistence in just sticking around will pay dividends.

The truth is buddy, you are just wasting every limited time and resources you have on someone who probably does not deserve it. Get real.

Why will anybody wanna treat your unique and exclusive existence as just another number on the contact list? Aren’t you worth more than that?

Have the decency and guts  to walk away.  You will not regret it, I assure you.

Pursue A Wilder, Higher & Greater Purpose.

We are the sum of what we think about and do constantly. So the quickest way to get over the thought of inadequacy is to snap out of it and pursue something else. Or better still, someone else. Only because you know you can and you should.

Think about how wild and high you will feel, to know that you can be the sole receiver of attention. And you can only feel this way, if you allow yourself the privilege to give and receive attention.

Fill up your cranium with more purposeful activities and ideas. You will appreciate you.

Stroke The C Spot.

Repeat after me…

“I Am Contented!”

“I Am Complete!”

“I Am Comforted!”

Every single day. Every morning. Every night.

And before you know it, people will be flocking to you for attention.

Why You Have Everything To Lose Now?

WHY YOU HAVE EVERYTHING TO LOSE NOW-

A friend invited me for a quick coffee chat the other day. He was trying to get a bit of insight into how he can plan for his next move forward. He had just recently graduated from university. He was a confident, well groomed and dynamic young man, whom I was guessing, aspiring to be a speaker.

In the course of our conversation, he mentioned a phrase that got me intrigued. He said something along the lines of, “I’ve got nothing much to lose as I have a lot of time in my hands.” I stopped him in his tracks, and asked. “Do you really have nothing much to lose?”

The Illusion Of Time

You will agree with me, that when you once looked at life from the perspectives of a 20 year old, it was filled with rainbow colored mountains. You told yourself, that there is so much to explore, so many paths to journey on and so many mountains to climb. The vast amount of options in achieving success, seemed enthralling.

And while we were looking at all those options, we silently muttered to ourselves, “I will find the time to do all that.” Yet, years passed, and suddenly we find ourselves at the age of 30 and wondered why we have still not conquered even a single peak of those rainbow mountains.

What happened?

The elusive nature of time happened. It crept up on us and overtook us before we even realized it. The head start it gave us, was the grand vision of possible achievements.

So I gave my young friend a few pointers. Pointers that I learned, from my own abysmal experiences. And I am sure it resonates with you too.

Potential Is Bull

I grew up with a realization that I was filled with potential. People around me were always citing how talented I was. People told me that I had the talent to sing, draw, speak, lead and even do fly if I wanted to.

Of course, it dawned on me also that they were right. I did all the above with  a high degree of competency. In fact, one avenue in which I found myself to be absolutely competent in, was in the area of public speaking. I was so good that I knew that one day I will make a career out of it. And this realization came about at the age of 16.

20 years on, I am still not a speaker. What happened?

I rested on my potential. Cause I thought that my potential will roll me up the gradients in life.

Yet, physics have proven that the largest amount of potential is stored when a ball rests on top of a slope. But no amount of energy can be released if that ball does not start rolling down.

Thus this analogy proved decisively that I was like that ball, resting on top of the slope. Filled with vast amount of potential. Yet nothing happened, cause I did not bother moving.

Do Not Believe In Your Own Hype

“Quality sells itself. No hype needed.”
― Brandi L. Bates, Red Flags

If you thought that not working on your potential is bad, try believing your own hype. That is even worse. I’ve always wondered as to why people, who were less  talented  than me, were achieving things way much faster.

People were always telling me, how I was so much better than those they knew. And yet, these people whom I deemed less capable, were earning bucks for their various attempts at making it in life.

The conundrum then dawned on me that I was self absorbed in my delusional self hype. People were right. I was more capable. And that was the problem. Believing in my hype made me think that there will be a “perfect time” when my abilities will be showcased to the world. I was always  waiting for the “perfect moments”. It never arrived.

You Have Everything To Lose

It may seem ridiculous to tell this to a young guy. To make him feel alarmed at the prospects he might lose out on.

And I say this with the conviction that the landscapes of self promotion avenues have changed rapidly. These days, even a 7 year old with enough singing potential, can succeed, if he/she manages to get the needed leverage. Be it via social media or traditional media exposure. The little child has so much more time compared to you, yet he/she is banking on it now. Not tomorrow or next year.

I feel that if we are not working fast and hard enough these days, we have everything to lose. The 2 business capitals that may seem exclusive to us, time and potential, will become obsolete and useless, by the time we feel we ought to work on it.

So, take my word for it. You have so much to lose.

Start now.